“A Milanese Napolitaine, one, for table five!” yelled the waiter in the direction of the kitchen where the famous chef, Rodolfo Monti, was tasting his world famous recipe known as “Spaghetti Putanesca with stinging nettle sauce”.

“Mmmh questo é eccellente, straordinario, splendido, incomparabile !” the chef exclaimed in ecstasy as a long strand of “spaghetti al dente” disappeared noisily, swallowed up in his mouth.

“Two lasagnas à la bolognaise, two, for the seven!” shouted again the head waiter with a new order.

“Wait un pó, I’m not una machina! ” steamed the “ maestro ” while he tasted his sixth spaghetti dripping with sauce.

“Humm, it’s ‘incommensurabile’, exquisite, exceptional, “ favolosi ”! the chef couldn’t stop from repeating himself with his mouth full, while dunking a hunk of bread in the sublime sauce and wiping his mustache with his sleeve.

FO 85500 – 19 x 18 x 41 cm (LWH)

‘Bowleggs’ Alfredo Pozzi, was an ace, a master at dribbling the ball. During the Richieri school matches no one could stop him. We all envied him. One day he managed to dribble past two huge brutes from sixth grade. Can you imagine that? He left them standing in their tracks. A genius. And the touch of the ball that he had was…..incredible. But of course, later, when he grew up, he learned to appreciate the good life, eat well, drink well…and you know, when we start to get a little chubby, things get complicated.

Last Sunday we had a match at the club. Listen-up, I’ll tell you what happened and it gives me goose bumps. Bowleggs Pozzi was playing number 10 position, after about 15 minutes, it was a shame to watch him. For his first corner kick, I don’t what happened, but, in fact, he wanted to kick the ball.

He got ready, took a few steps and ….made one of those magical kicks. If he had touched the ball, it would have been playable, but his stomach caused him to lose balance and he took a huge swipe in the grass.

This week, I tried calling every day, but didn’t get an answer…I don’t know, he must have left on a trip.

FO 85516 - 17 x 17 x 37 cm (LWH)

The cup, of which he dreamed holding in his hand for so many times, became a reality. Neither the sprain in his shoulder blade, nor the horrible tendonitis in his left arm could keep the tenacious Gustavo Lanzaro from raising up high the trophy that he had just won. The ‘missiles’ at 249 km/h which his opponent was firing managed to break 4 rackets, but not his moral courage.

His coach, the famous Spaniard Pepe Galleta, inspired by the renown ‘Serrano’ ham, made him follow a strict diet of only and exclusively acorns for the period of one year. The hard months of training were terrible, but compared to such an excellent victory, the sacrifice seemed justified.

The only unpleasant thing was the beastly bad breath which wouldn’t go away and the pronounced aversion for the Iberico ham.

FO 85511 - 20 x 17 x 44 cm (LWH)

The hole was far away, Mauro Rugolin needed to hit hard, but with accuracy. He knew he could do it; several times, he had seen Tiger do the same. That afternoon, a crowd had come to see him and they were all hoping to witness his magnificent drive.

He spread his legs exactly how one should. In perfect synchronization, he initiated a rotation of his shoulders and waste while stabilizing his right knee just a little. At first, he glanced an instant at his distant objective while drawing a small smile of self-importance. He continued his impeccable movement while concentrating on the little white ball.

He remained immobile several seconds and with all his force…gave a tremendous whack lifting an enormous clod of earth. The little ball was never found, but the clod of earth finished its arc on the head of the referee, who had to be hospitalized because of a huge bruise above his left eye.

FO 85504 - 26 x 18 x 38 cm (LWH)

After having watched during his entire childhood ‘The Lucille Ball Show’, Pipo Saulle, became a television addict. He watches every series and soap opera that is shown. In his eyes, the remote control is the best invention since the tele. He doesn’t stop channel surfing a single instant and he knows all the showbiz gossip.

He knows the advertisements by heart and can guess the brand of a product even before it appears on the screen; at this game, he is unbeatable. When he wins, he raises his arms to the sky, makes the V for victory sign and yells while circling the coffee table “I won, I won.”

His other passion is popcorn and hamburgers which he chasses down with enormous gulps of ice cold beer. My God! Life is good! If he didn’t have to work, he would have the impression of being in paradise.

FO 85506 - 38 x 23 x 20 cm (LWH)

The coolness of the shade beneath the willow was an invitation to relax. It was nap time. The scent of lavender and wild flower permeated the air. In the distance, one could hear the cicadas singing. The calm water reflected the flight of two swallows in a splendid blue sky.

The end of the afternoon was approaching and Daniel was still sitting calmly, watching the little cork bobbing to the peaceful rhythm of the ripples on the water. It had been a while since he had had a nibble, but to be honest, at this spot, it was unusual for something to nibble.

But no matter. Daniel has been coming to this idyllic spot every summer for the last 10 years and, for nothing in the world, would he give up the extraordinary pleasure that provides the best of sports…fishing.

FO 85503 - 35 x 18 x 25 cm (LWH)

Three years ago, when the famous Icelandic volcano erupted, the immense spread of land owned by Chief Executive Officer Richard John Goldsilver was covered by 30 cm of ashes which drove the man to the brink of bankruptcy. More than a few thought that it was the end to his empire, but that was not counting on the perspicacity and business acumen of the chief executive. He had the good idea to put the ashes into sacs and sell them as a high quality powder to polish metals, but also in mixing them with almond oil, he made a cream that was effective in toning skin and eliminating wrinkles. His fortune was multiplied by five. And that’s not all; he is patiently waiting for the next eruption.

FO 85532 – 30 x 25 x 26 cm (LWH)

During her childhood, Vera Timmons witnessed numerous acts of delinquency. One day she saw her little neighbor, Peter ‘Freckles’, with a sarcastic smile, rip in to pieces the teddy bear of her friend Katherine. The following week, the same Peter, armed with a slingshot, broke Mrs. Carrigan’s window. Another day, ‘Freckles’ stole a handful of candy by putting his filthy hands in Aunt Mary’s candy bowl. Even if Vera witnessed everything, everyone said that she was lying and accused her little sister as the author of the crime.

Injustice, that is, the injustice of having said the truth and nobody believed her, is what led Vera Timmons to the study of law.

The years passed and after a brilliant career at the university, Vera was proud to exercise the profession that she so much desired. The only thing that she will never be able to understand is how that horrible Peter ‘Freckles’ who eventually went into politics, could become senator.

FO 85514 - 17 x 19 x 42 cm (LWH)

At the hospital in Rosario, all the male staff suffered from stiff necks. The administration decided to look into the problem and discovered that the cause was the sensual swaying of the hips of Doctor Evangelina Gonzalez.

Her ample cleavage and tight dresses turned the heads of all the male staff, except Toni, the nurse, whose interest in the opposite sex was, well, an illusion. The administration suggested to Doctor Gonzalez that she calm things down a little, but Evangelina wouldn’t listen.

So they decided to transfer her to another unit. Two weeks later, all the cases of stiff neck disappeared, both doctors and patients. Because they all followed Evangelina. The only one who stayed was Toni.

FO 85520 - 18 x 18 x 42 cm (LWH)

For the third time that day, the Principle of the “Sacred Heart” school went to make a little visit to the class of Miss Liliana Pérez, the most attractive teacher at the school. Once again the students stood up and greeted the Principal in loud voices, “Good morning Mr. Principal.” “Alright, alright, that is enough,” he said, a little embarrassed. “Well…..I was just passing down the hall and I thought you might need something. You do not need some chalk, a thumbtack, a little tube of glue?” . “No thank you … it is very nice of you,” answered the young woman blushing a little. “Fine, if you need the slightest little thing Miss Liliana, do not hesitate to call me, OK?” said the Principal leaving the classroom. “Goodbye Mr. Principal!” cried the students as they jumped up having let some books drop on the floor. “Fine, fine, OK, OK….let’s stop with the greetings!” said the Principal a little bothered as he disappeared into the hall.

FO 85531 – 21 x 18 x 42 cm (LWH)

The defendant was accused of assault with a firearm and the robbery of two chickens and six eggs. Despite the testimony of four witnesses, the discovery of hundreds of feathers in his house, without speaking of a stew pot full of chicken bones and an old frying pan with leftovers of an omelette, the famous lawyer

Mario Puzotti, at the end of an eloquent defence, managed to persuade the jury of his client’s innocence and to convince them that the true guilty one was society.

The accused was freed ipso facto and, under thundering applause and cries from the public of “encore, encore,” the talented lawyer was obliged to return several times to bow to his frenzied audience.

FO 85501 – 21 x 21 x 42 cm (LWH)

Each time Captain Antonin Eyssette asked something, the air hostesses did everything possible to satisfy him. All of them fell to his charms which oozed from his persona, from his seductive physique and his perfect teeth. He could do two long-haul flights without a break and still be as fresh as daisy.

The only worry was that, from his lower extremities, emanated a strong odor of camembert. It didn’t bother him at all. Even more so, when he engaged the automatic pilot, he likes to take his shoes off, put his feet up on the controls and, with pleasure, wiggle his toes saying “This is life!” Meanwhile, his co-pilot, suppressing an urge to throw up, was preparing delicately his little sick bag, that by experience, he always kept nearby.

FO 85523 - 17 x 17 x 41 cm (LWH)

Each time Captain Antonin Eyssette asked something, the air hostesses did everything possible to satisfy him. All of them fell to his charms which oozed from his persona, from his seductive physique and his perfect teeth. He could do two long-haul flights without a break and still be as fresh as daisy.

The only worry was that, from his lower extremities, emanated a strong odor of camembert. It didn’t bother him at all. Even more so, when he engaged the automatic pilot, he likes to take his shoes off, put his feet up on the controls and, with pleasure, wiggle his toes saying “This is life!” Meanwhile, his co-pilot, suppressing an urge to throw up, was preparing delicately his little sick bag, that by experience, he always kept nearby.

FO 85523 - 17 x 17 x 41 cm (LWH)

Each time Captain Antonin Eyssette asked something, the air hostesses did everything possible to satisfy him. All of them fell to his charms which oozed from his persona, from his seductive physique and his perfect teeth. He could do two long-haul flights without a break and still be as fresh as daisy.

The only worry was that, from his lower extremities, emanated a strong odor of camembert. It didn’t bother him at all. Even more so, when he engaged the automatic pilot, he likes to take his shoes off, put his feet up on the controls and, with pleasure, wiggle his toes saying “This is life!” Meanwhile, his co-pilot, suppressing an urge to throw up, was preparing delicately his little sick bag, that by experience, he always kept nearby.

FO 85523 - 17 x 17 x 41 cm (LWH)

Doctor José Batle was a recognized expert in his field. His diagnoses, always exact, saved the lives of hundreds of people and earned him the admiration of high society. Everything was going perfectly until the day when, arrived to his office, the most well-known actress in Hollywood, the ravishing Marilyn Hayworth, victim of a sprained little finger.

Without wasting an instant, Doctor Batle had the patient take off her clothes to assure himself that she had no other complications anywhere on her body. After a thorough and detailed examination, he confirmed that…he had fallen deeply in love.

The diva thanked him for all his diligent attention and left the office leaving in the air behind her a suggestive perfume of camellia. Ever since that day, Doctor Batle never stops thinking of the great Marilyn, hoping that she sprains another finger so that he can perform a new examination, this time even more detailed.

FO 85508 - 17 x 17 x 45 cm (LWH)

When he was young, Juan Teruggi loved to help his grandmother, especially when she baked cakes, in licking the batter covered spoon. He always knew that he would be a cook but not just any cook; he would be a ‘Master Chef’. After two years of study at the most prestigious culinary schools the day of his final exam arrived. The jury asked him to prepare …..a fried egg!

Without showing the slightest surprise at such an unexpected request, adopting a professional style and with the elegance of a classical dancer, he started to heat the olive oil and butter. He cracked the egg, separated the whites which he began to cook. He added salt and pepper and after a minute, with a magnificent and heroic movement of his hand, placed the yolk in the center.

Two minutes later he pulled the frying pan from the fire, served the egg on a large plate of porcelain, decorated it with two branches of chive and lightly powered the edges with paprika to add a little color. Spinning in a pirouette with an expression full of pride and with great reverence, presented it to the members of the jury. Everything would have been a tremendous success if only the egg had not slide of the plate and landed at the feet of the jury.

FO 85524 - 20 x 17 x 38 cm (LWH)

“A good barbecue is hard to do!” explained Freddy to his two kids who listened mesmerized. “First, is to start the charcoal. Then the grill is heated so it can be easily cleaned.” The kids, charmed by the master chef, listened attentively. “Then, gently place the pieces of meat and sausage on the grill. Finally, and this is the most important, patiently wait for the exact moment when the meat is perfectly cooked, and then….there is nothing left to do, but to enjoy yourself!”

The cooking juices falling into the fire lets escape an irresistible smell of grilled meat. The guests, drawn by this magnificent aroma, approach to watch the show. From the murmurs of admiration coming from the audience, a voice arises and we hear “Bravo to the chef!” A smile of satisfaction appears on Freddy’s face, who, shrugging his shoulders as to minimize the situation, says “I didn’t do much of anything…..really it’s nothing special!”

FO 85522 - 17 x 17 x 43 cm (LWH)

When we went to dinner at “La Truffe d’Argent”, a famous five-star restaurant, we sat at a table next to the magnificent bay window where you could see the Seine and the Notre Dame Cathedral in their entire splendor. We peacefully contemplated the sunset which covered Paris with a faint red veil. Martin Ferney, the restaurant’s famed head waiter, explained the menu with such precision and detail that we congratulated him for his knowledge.

“It’s nothing,” he said, “I know by heart all the wines from our extensive wine cellar and all the secrets of French gastronomy. Moreover, there is a dish that bears my name, the famous Homard breton à la Ferney. Several other restaurants have tried to lure me away by offering me a huge salary, but I’ve always refused … “Lowering his voice and narrowing his eyes, he confessed, with some pride, “If I leave here, this restaurant would no longer exist, it would evaporate, since I am in a way … the living symbol of excellence when considering French restaurants. ”

In saying this, he lifted his chin, turned on his heels and smugly eclipsed behind the bar.

FO 85519 - 20 x 20 x 45 cm (LWH)

Louis-Philippe de Cabernet Sauvignon delicately placed the point of the corkscrew exactly at the center of the cork of the 1990 Bordeaux. Even if all the emotion made his wrist tremble, he slowly removed the cork and the characteristic pop of an uncorked bottle resonated against the walls of the wine cellar. He examined its appearance and while smelling it a slight smile illuminated his face. He slowly poured the precious liquid into a crystal glass which he raised a little to appreciate the clear and brilliant contents, an intense cherry red color with hints of ruby, and touches of sober red-browns.

He approached the glass to his nose, closed his eyes and smelled the explosion of chocolate aroma, truffles, aromatic woods, leather, all which were incredibly elegant, an expression of an infinite varietal. He brought the precious liquid to his lips, sipped and ….realized he had forgotten to rinse the glass. Traces of dishwashing powder which were on the glass gave the wine a slight taste of a hand soap with an aroma of deodorant and a bouquet of detergents, all perfectly balanced with grand complexity and harmony.

FO 85528 - 17 x 17 x 44 cm (LWH)

At the “Crazy Hair” beauty salon, it’s the newest trends and fashionable concepts that prevail. The head stylist, Rossano Alessandro, created a fortifying hair treatment from Red Sea algae mixed with beaver urine, purple garlic from China, caviar from the Caspian and camembert from Normandy.

His clients who love being at the edge of fashion were ready to do anything for a chance to have his capillary fortifying treatment. The experience is amazing. They stay for hours chatting while the magnificent balm takes effect.

The perfume they inhale recalls the pomp of the court of Versailles and the noble scents that gave that place its rank and distinction.

However, it is a little difficult to keep the flies away.

FO 85527 - 17 x 16 x 44 cm (LWH)

Sacha put on his boots, took his rifle, his hat and his bag of ammunition. His dog, Tom, seeing what Sacha was preparing, leaped up and started running around. “Dear, we’re leaving to go hunting”, he said to his wife. Then, shutting his eyes a little and with an air of confidence, he added, “Tonight, for dinner, we’ll have duck”. After six hours spent in the marshes, after having emptied his ammunition box and even trying a slingshot and all the sticks and stones which he could find in his path, nothing worked, he couldn’t kill even one duck. Fortunately, the local supermarket was still open. That night for dinner, they ate a succulent farm-raised chicken.

FO85535 – 19 x 17 x 38 cm (LWH)

The accountant, Angel Milicic, has a phobia about calculators and his boss insists that he use them at work. But, he doesn’t want anything to do with them, he prefers mental calculation. “A multiplication, a division, a percentage is calculated much faster counting on your fingers than using a machine”, affirms Milicic. Of course, he often has trouble with the end of year accounts, or with tax returns, or salaries, or even supplier accounts, but his technique maintains an alert mind and keeps him lively as per the recommendations of his family doctor, and that…is the most important thing.

FO85536 – 19 x 17 x 42 cm (LWH)

“Doctor is this going to hurt much?” the terrorized patient asked Mariluz León, the dentist at the “Happy Teeth” clinic who, a little impatient, was waiting with a drill in her hand. “Of course it won’t, dear, you won’t feel a thing!” she answered trying to calm him down. “Listen, this is how we are going to proceed, take this tube of toothpaste in your hand and, if it hurts too much, squeeze the tube a little to calm yourself down.” The doctor started the drill and even before putting it into his mouth, the patient squeezed the tube so hard that toothpaste splattered on the ceiling and the doctor found her face covered with it as if someone had thrown a pie in her face.

FO85534 - 17 x 17 x 43 cm (LWH)

“Your Honor, you cannot condemn this poor man to one year of prison for only stealing a cube of chicken broth”, the lawyer said.

“No, that’s true” the Judge replied, “but after stealing it, it was not necessary to use a bottle of oil to hit the poor old lady who had witnessed the incident. Nor did he need to set fire to the soup shelf in order to erase his finger prints. Nor did he need to lock-up the shop manager when he wanted to flee.

And most of all, there was no need to force the shop manager to swallow the cube in order to get rid of the evidence… He should at least have removed the packaging from the cube!”

FO 85529 - 23 x 20 x 36 cm (LWH)